It’s hard to feel too bad for Tom Brady these days. That supermodel wife, the 9-2 record, his $72 million contract — did we mention that supermodel wife of his? But the National Enquirer‘s report this week that the three-time Super Bowl champ was seen exiting “New England’s foremost authority on hair restoration” had to make most men cringe — except the Jets, of course.

Still, it got us thinking: Brady used to be a kind of ideal man, and yet here he is hawking Uggs — this after Justin Bieber put him in his place for stealing his haircut, which, in turn, has Brady sporting these current Viking locks of his.

So maybe going bald isn’t such a bad thing after all; maybe it’s just good timing for the guy — all guys with thinning hair, really — to get a new look. Herein, our playbook, with apologies to Jake Gyllenhaal’s already long week of Photoshopping….